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September 15, 2017

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September 15, 2017

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In which I geek out about Skyrim

November 12, 2011

You might have noticed that Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim came out on Friday. It is basically a miracle I have gotten anything at all done since then and even that is only through sheer indomitable force of will and unconscionably large amounts of caffeine. Because you know what? Totally most awesomest game of awesome and stabby delightful dragony awesomeness ever.

I’m playing a wood elf because, well, I’m pretty much always a wood elf and I accidentally picked the Imperial side because I didn’t realize I could join the rebels until it was too late. Oops. Clearly after I finish the game I’m going to have to try it from the other side and then I realized this game will never end and it will be glorious. The layout and menu navigation is significantly simpler than Elder Scrolls: Oblivion which is nice but also a little confusing because I am so used to Oblivion.


You know what is the coolest thing ever though? The finishing move slow-motion fight scenes. Except when it’s me dying, then it’s less cool. I kind of want them to Mortal Kombat it up though and say “FATALITY” whenever it happens. But, um, not when *I* die, just when I hack people into tiny pieces with my swords. Also, dual-handed sword fighting? Eff yeah Elder Scrolls, eff yeah.

So, here’s a conversation that happened while we were playing:
Cranky McIrishpants: Do the Argonian chicks have boobs?
Me: Yes.
CM: Why? Do they give birth to live young?
Me: Because the game was designed by men.
Mister Formerly Known as Mohawk: No, they lay eggs.
CM: BUT WHY? Do they NURSE the babies after they hatch?
Me: It’s because the game was designed by men.
MFKaM: No they *insert surprisingly long discussion on the reproduction habits of fictional creatures here that ends with some sort of loose validation for reptile boobs*
Me: No, it’s because the game was designed by dudes.
CM: That’s fair enough, I’m going to make a female character largely on the basis that I don’t want to stare at man @$$ all day while I play so I guess I can’t blame the game designers.

On the list of things I don’t like: Today I was playing and I killed all the draugr thingies in the room and then healed up to full health and then dropped dead for no apparent reason. That sucked. I’d be just fine with that never happening again.

I haven’t actually gotten to the part where I interact with dragons on any level other than running away from them because I am the slowest video game player in the history of ever, but I expect that I will babble on about this again as I get further in the game.



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